Archive for the ‘fast food review’ Category

Look, if you don’t like Mexican food then we just can’t be friends. And I probably don’t mean authentic Mexican food, because how would I know? So many places now claim to be authentic but the closest I’ve come to Mexico was when I flew into LA to spend five hours in an airport. So should I call it Tex-Mex? Should I just get back to the topic on hand?



Guzman y Gomez (the y means and–aren’t you glad I’m here to help you with these difficult life moments?) but who cares, what you need to know is that Guzman y Gomez is basically the bestest, freshest, excellente-est Mexican food in Melbourne, probably. And I’ve sampled a decent amount, because if I know anything, it’s where I can get corn chips at short notice.


tacos never photograph well. what is with that?


This place ticks a lot of my boxes. 1) close to public transport. 2) has high chairs. TWO high chairs. 3) hard shell tacos (soft shell is really just a burrito, amirite?) 4) filling is awesome. 5) Jarritos. 6) CONDIMENT BAR. 7) swift service because I am basically without patience. 8) the choose your start/filling/sauce means it’s basically asĀ  choose your own adventure, except the adventure is that you get to eat a taco/burrito that is great instead of getting eaten by a lion like in the books. 9) the Rocket approves of the beans. 10) also she ate part of a menu because babies live in opposites land pretty much all the time. 11) the filling is the freshest, loveliest thing ever. There are beans and capsicum and so many good things. I don’t even know or care. It is mind-blowing. The first time Teach and I went there, we were having a bit of a disagreement and the food was so good it literally fixed our fight, because we couldn’t be mad when tacos could be this good.



The cons: 1) the corn chips are a little dry, but not if you eat them with salsa or the frankly amazing guac or the filling that fell out of your taco. And if you’re not doing that, then you’re weird. 2) the menus are not edible. 3) they don’t have Trippy Fries, unlike Trippy Taco which has Trippy Fries. 4) they aren’t next to my house.


The entry is wide and flat. Prams can fit somewhere. Numerous high chairs. There’s a bathroom but I haven’t used it. Ordering at a typical fast-food counter.


Guzman y Gomez


289-299 Swanston St (kind of opposite the State Library)


9988 1402


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lord of the fries 2

SO the past few weeks have been taken over by this seemingly brilliant idea we had about moving house. Whose idea was this? They are clearly an idiot. If I’d known back then that moving meant things like CLEANING and SCRUBBING and taking things from one place to another then arranging them in the SAME WAY, except two kilometres east of where they just were, I would have STAYED THERE, even though it was like living in a brown-curtained cave and, uh, had termites. Anyway, here we are now, in a shiny new place that has bad parts (now in zone TWO travel-wise, we are sharing a wall with someone, the carpet is vaguely scratchy) and good parts (dishwasher, central heating, stupendous natural light, a chimney for Santa to climb down, a front AND back yard, train station ridiculously close, EVERYTHING ELSE OH LORD I LOVE IT). And now the old place is mostly clean, and I just unpacked our internet and computer, so basically everything else that needs to be unpacked can be ignored and I will just pretend I live in a box fort until the cardboard breaks down naturally in a few hundred years.


Apart from moving, and my father in hospital (he’s okay and is home now), I recently had a very thrilling invitation to attend and blog about a tasting event at Lord of the Fries in Fitzroy. I posed the idea to Teach, and then we all had a grand laugh because come on, I mean, we spend most nights talking ourselves OUT of going to LotF for the third time that week so like we needed an actual excuse, just give me the food already. Then disaster struck when Teach realised he had a dentist appointment scheduled for that night, and came home feeling a bit worse for wear and not ready for chewing at all, and thus I decided not to go. Then the Rocket was hollering, and my friend Steph messaged me saying that there was a sticker with my name on it, and I thought, UNSELFISHLY, it would be best if I took the screechy baby away from the sore father and to a tasting event. Because I am noble.



I was late, but luckily that didn’t stop the super friendly Fry-Lords from continuing to dish up food. See, the excellent thing about LotF is that they make the mini sizes, so you can eat more than one thing and not be full. Lends itself to a tasting, really. Teach consistently orders the Original (LotF patty, cheese, pickles, onion, lettuce, Belgian mayo, mustard, ketchup) and I never do because it looked like the sort of burger I didn’t even like before I went veg, but when someone stuck a miniature version in front of me I was actually surprised to find I really enjoyed it. So poor Teach; next time we head out, he’s gonna have to relinquish a bite to me. Also served up was a Tijuana hot dog (jalapenos, cheese, onion, sour cream, spicy ketchup, mustard), which I hadn’t tried because I can be a bit of a spice chicken, but OH MY, it was completely delicious. The sour cream. It’s genius. Until LotF, I’d always ordered my hot dogs with sauce and so help me don’t put anything else on it or I will kill you, but now suddenly stick a hundred things on it and make it spicy and apparently I’m totally cool with it. Who says your tastes don’t mature as you age? I’m a total fast food connoisseur now. More burgers and hot dogs were served, but alas I filled up on chips which I also bravely branched out with, trying sauces I’d never let a chip touch before (Thai satay, which was maybe a little too gritty-peanutty but let’s face it I adore peanut butter things and would eat a bucket full of; and the vegan mayo, which was absolutely grand); I also hoovered down a decent amount of nuggets, which I hadn’t really tried before; they’re a bit thick on the batter, but tasty. It was all capped off with one of the chocolate mousses, which are the most rich dense things you’ve ever had. Buy it for sure, but share it with someone.



The Rocket was a little cranky at the start but mellowed out with all the attention and hoovered down a chip. I may have fed her a little bit of mousse too but no one can be entirely sure.


The verdict: like the food, the people who own the business, and those who work there, are friendly and delicious and you’d love to go visit them again. Go to Lord of the Fries, eat everything, be happy forever.


Lord of the Fries

383 Brunswick St



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lord of the fries

When Teach was on holidays it was super easy to blog every day, and now that he’s not, it’s trickier. Well, that’s what I’d say if not for the fact that the real reason I’ve been slack is that we’ve been mainlining episodes of Community season three for the past week. Also, I’ve taken up this bizarre habit of making myself sandwiches instead of going out for lunch. Wacky, right? But I can still be relied upon for frequent laziness and last Sunday, after work, we decided to have an early dinner at Lord of the Fries at Chadstone.

Every time we go there, the service is totally fantastic (especially this one blonde girl who is always smiling and super friendly) about my ridiculous dithering and requests and unfortunate need to make small talk all the time. They haven’t made my order wrong once (while I’ve had a few missteps at the Melbourne Central and Fitzroy locations, but I absolutely have to point out that I never bothered to take them back to rectify the errors, which I am totally convinced they would) and the food is junky, delectable excellence. Our order goes like this: “One big original burger, one mini vegan (new thing on the menu), a box of fries with gravy on the side, and two mandarin Jarritos.” (Because Jarritos, am I right? They are the new cool thing in fluids.) Teach always gets the big original burger, because he is unoriginal, and I often try their specials, like the Uncle Sam burger: chick’n patty, tomato, lettuce, pickles, cheese, and onion rings. ONION RINGS. It’s genius. Who knew? My favourite ever special was the Kahuna burger–chick’n patty, bacon, cheese, tomato, lettuce, pineapple–but they don’t have it any longer, which is about the saddest thing in the history of food. And until Lord of the Fries, I was a chip purist who never let anything but salt desecrate my potatoes, but GRAVY. Why did I not know this before? OH MY.

This meal is about my favourite ever, the mini version of fun burgers/hot dogs leaving me exactly perfectly full when paired with the other things. I can’t tell you how happy this makes me. And because the Chadstone store is in a shopping centre, you can take a pram and there’s tables and a high chair and there are millions of screaming families around so really, it’s just perfect. Can you tell I’m a fan?


Lord of the Fries

Chadstone Shopping Centre

Near Cinema complex


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cupcake central

This is the first of what will be, presumably, about seven hundred posts about Cupcake Central. From their tasty beginnings near Glenferrie Station in Hawthorn, they have now spread to Melbourne Central and to other ventures, including Dessert 1st in Springvale and a company supporting female entrepreneurs, called The League of Extraordinary Women. Basically, it’s a cool place for many reasons. But number one is obviously cupcakes. And nothing is lovelier than a cupcake place that caters to those with food intolerances, which means in CC’s excellent selection, they always have a gluten free and vegan cupcake on offer, and they have yet to be anything but great.

However. Today’s cupcake was not great. GREAT is an understatement. I throw words like AWESOME around when it comes to how good I am at folding clothes, or making toast, so I should probably think of something better. Actually, I think the word I am looking for is PERFECT. Oh yes, I went there. Cupcake Central’s cherry and coconut cupcake is perfect. Not just for an allergy friendly cupcake. But for a cupcake.

And now I don’t have another one. This is the worst post ever.

Cupcake Central

Melbourne Central Shopping Centre

Dining Hall

211 LaTrobe St

Shop 7, 672 Glenferrie Rd


phone: 9077 4542


CC also does cupcake workshops, makes wedding cakes, and will say hi to you on Twitter.

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