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Earlier this year, I turned 30. I know, right? I can’t even count that high; I just get to nineteen and flail around helplessly. For my birthday I received love and messages and some wonderful gifts, including a voucher for a Spirit treatment at an Endota Day Spa from my father- and stepmother-in-law. It’s a ninety minute process, full of much loveliness, but all I saw on the description was: NINETY MINUTES WITHOUT YOUR KID, BUT NOT SPENT AT WORK. And I love my Rocket to bits, but ninety minutes in six months doesn’t seem like a particularly big ask. So I rustled up some milk, demanded a ride from Teach, and today I got to have an hour and a half of massage and relaxation and not once did I have to blow raspberries or do a snake impression to keep the therapist from throwing up in a rage.

 

First I had this lovely footbath. It’s called a billabong footbath, but, you know, it’s in a bowl, not a billabong, because I was in a building in Camberwell, and not in the bush. But it was warm and wonderful and involved a scrub and a massage I was basically already an amorphous blob of happiness by the end of it. Then I was deposited onto a bed where I had more than an hour of massage all over my body except for the scandalous parts, with proper, intense and magical time spent on each part, with warmed oils: back, limbs, scalp, feet, ooohhhhhh. Somewhere in the middle of that I was wrapped up all toasty in towels and warmth. I don’t even remember. I almost fell asleep and definitely drooled a very tiny amount. Basically, it was very good, and Megan (I think her name was Megan? I can’t help it, she massaged my brain out) was the best, and you should all shack up with Teach so his relatives will give you spa vouchers when you turn thirty. Because they are a bit pricey, and if I had $160 I would probably just go out and buy a new dinnerware set or three so I didn’t have to wash the ones from the other night when I made tacos and used all the dishes. But if I was the kind of person who had $160 more often, or was more sensible when confronted with $160, I would totally do this again, no questions asked.

 

But don’t do what I did and follow it up with a visit to the tax accountant, because a) you won’t be able to get the hot oil scalp treatment because you’re too embarrassed about the tax guy thinking you are greasy and b) he will crush your hopes of leaving his office with mountains of cash and you will be sad and c) god, who booked a visit with an accountant straight after a massage? Someone should slap me upside the head.

 

Endota

Camberwell Day Spa

540 Riversdale Rd

Camberwell

9813 5789

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